


my window through which nothing hides

by oftachancer



Series: here in this moment [7]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Cole POV, M/M, Multi, Sense-memory, Threesome, hurt and healing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 18:45:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16500743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oftachancer/pseuds/oftachancer
Summary: Aran Trevelyan - the seventh scion of Ostwick's Bann Trevelyan - had led a sheltered life at the Starkhaven Chantry as a historian and archivist's assistant. He's survived possession by a demon and having a piece of the Fade permanently stuck in his palm, the destruction of Haven, and a ragged seven-year journey through time and space.Now, back to a time after his original disappearance, Aran is trying to find a way to preserve the world he left and - more difficult - to find a way to stay in it.First person POV from Cole's perspective of his first time with Dorian and Aran together. Follows the events of "I... I am".





	my window through which nothing hides

Sometimes the lone body is insufficient. Scraping, gnawing, filling, emptying, and refilling again. So many useless exercises. The muscles know what they need if you listen.

Yes- Warmer than night, breath twines, dark and light, shadow play in the glow he can’t control. Lungheat. All those sinking thinking thoughts - _her soul the greatest misery of them all- always casting a condescending eye when Sebastian let the poor woman have a farthing after masses- she’d made things better for herself, why couldn’t they? Didn’t need some spirit telling her all her ailments, petty demons of too much chat about politics and earthquakes and the end of the world, but he wanted to have a bit of fun, did he, let him, what did he know-_ The roof arches its back to meet the rain. Unfurling, he wants to be silk and feathers but he’s meant for something stronger. Remind him- the leather is best, it can be soft, too: “ _Supple, the smoothness of the saddle, the sea like sparkling sapphires, all the sky, the blue-green grasses. Grasp the horn, allow the lead to be taken. If it were anything else, you would fall, but it holds you. Both, tandem, two parts of one whole taking the hill-_ ”

There, he shudders, right and rasping. _Maker help the world if they were all his sort-_ The cricket knows the useful friction of part on part, wing to leg, building harmony as a voice. _Does he feel the same?_ “Yes.” Whisper. Conserve the unnecessary breath. The sound won’t matter. It’s been bundled like a smuggler’s sack. Hide to protect. _Never wanted to make someone feel as I did - shunned and shackled by secrets._ No- _Picked up on the sly, alley grit in my teeth, then watching him slink away looking so aware of the harm he’d done_ \- “Not shackled. Seen.”

 _Calling him pious because no one would look at him, but look at him now._ Tastes like the ocean- joyswimming - _You’re sure you didn’t sneak behind my back with a seal? he asks, touching the back of her neck when she starts to call out -too close, mind the rocks- He’ll learn like the rest of them._ Brine slips and slides, peasantskinned touches upon warm sand molten within snowmelt. They ask, ask, ask. Careful. _I like that in him, sharp-edges and all, but still offers to carry the old man’s flowers to that hill for no damned reason-_ Not with each other. The petals of the violet seem bruised, but they must. They don’t ache, but for the sun. Seeming isn’t everything. Ivy clings the gentle tug, not taking, meeting in passing. Dew drops capture the light. _Up to him, we’d have people filling the keep until we threw them out, or Sisters maybe, not the smutty sort from Varric’s stories either, who are as much Sisters as he is, not,_ yes, “Oh-”

 _Should I? What if_ \- “Yes.” _That dyinglooking man on the cot needed a helping hand and Maker he got it, couldn’t help him, should have tried- should I?_ None of us have the heart for war, yet the drum pounds. Soldiers despite rebellious natures, marching to the thrumming in our ears. As if they can hear heartbeats. _Took an arrow to the knee and that stopped the adventuring right quick- more likely took a sprain to the head at a Chantry party, they had to have those-_ “Oh-” Close, not close enough. “Yes-” Distant peaks feel the tides of wind and rain more strongly, but they, too, will collapse - they always do. Smaller and smaller. _He looks more like a man with his beard grown a bit-_ Building new mountains from their fallen stones. _Wait. No. Wait._ For what? He’d thought a wave, but it was only thunder, ahead of the storm.

_She’d worn that dress even though she hated it just because the girl had liked flowers and what had it gotten her but the worst ones eyeing her like she was mud or worse, old maid voices asking why she didn’t look nice more often, as if looking is everything, it wasn’t like she gave a shit whether they ever saw her face again, and anyway the girl wasn’t there anymore-_

Crystalline music, the cajoling flute, learn to play by listening - isn’t that how the masters teach? _Like one of those- mirrors reflecting night eyes-_ _Can’t ever find the bottom of the bloody basket-_ The press of keys- _Down there is he really-_ lips to the embouchure hole, breath and time - _if only, if only_ \- breathe in time. _Not to be any trouble, but Maker, those lips-_ Tightening tendrils, the barrel shifts- _pack of lies to try to hide this-_ “Yes- ah Maker yes- Yes!-” a frothy ode to tides and storms. Bitter like the shards of emeralds fresh from the dirt, kissed in joy, candied with the sweet relief of finding what was sought. _Who is in your mind now is it-_ “Yes-” _imagine me or some other version who hurt you damn him tell me who you’re thinking of his name mine not mine who-_ “Oh-”

He kneels as if in prayer, but the prayers are silent - false gods might hear. “Oh-” He’s given himself to one god already. _Never had a suspicion about how close they were, who had, how blind-_ “Yes-” Two. _All the talking in the world can’t make kissing a man for that first time any less extraordinary just to do it and think no more about it knowing that even if you never love him, you were wild for those moments, but different when you feel that way all and every time, even now, as though it’s that first huddled rush all over again and you can’t help but love him so wildly nice all over fuck them for saying anything is wrong-_ Three. _Wouldn’t lower himself to spy on them, but gods, if he had, like then, swelling and throwing all his caution out the window_ \- Shoreborn, bound by seas- _hot and long down into my soul-_ Taste, he would - savor the fact that he can, is trusted, allowed, opened for, prying open the shell to find sweet meat, perhaps a pearl? _Excites him bad enough to get him hard in the saddle and is it worth it_ \- “Yes-” _Wear the smell of that spice on his skin, scent him on his collar the next day knowing that stiffness at his neck had been earned_ -

Breath catching, catching breath. _Not that I care two figs who he does it with, so long as he comes back, back, back-_ Storm-swept, sweat trickles down the angles of his face, seeping into a dark curl. _Maker knows he’s changed in ways could never have expected, wouldn’t have known to expect-_ He looks at me, seeing and not seeing, _nothing like him in the universe, even with that same old hat-_ emptied and filled. _The touch of dew on his lips, mine?_ Let him know, taste, see if/as he falls again.

 _Can always make him turn red, seduce him, knowing what he’ll feel when I-_ dips and dives in a sacred cove - _could hold my breath-_

He is part bird, falling into a trance guided by scent- _said he was drinking water but smelled like those expensive looking liquor or whiskey or stiff stout-_ the iridescent frequency. _Encouraging him- making him worse and better than he is-_ Nectar, not dew- he dabs, darts- _wondered if he was satisfied will he think of me when I am dreaming does he dream or sleep never think to ask these things at the right times-_

This- “This-” _until that thunder woke me up and I felt him prying, peeling, promising against my ear, they were awake outside but he didn’t give a damn and I was tasting his fingers-_ Unto him. The swing of his whiskers whisper, all filled up- satisfied and swollen- _dressing and perfuming and combing when we could keep him just like this between us and damn the world_ -

The muscles know what they need if you listen- _ask if he liked me or tell him that I liked him after the fact because that seems like such a mannerism and does he even need me to say things like that with him in my mouth like this, you’d think he’d get the- “_ Yes-” _Could send him spinning if I weren’t being plundered to the Void and back-_ “Oh-” _to keep him from knowing more than is good for him, as if I know what that would be, but I can lay this in thick and maybe that can make up for_ \- Sound, signifying nothing more than “Oh-” Again. Where are the words? So many and none. “May I-” _Yes_.

“Yes-” muffled against skin and unfurling unfolds me-

“ _Laughing couldn’t stop even when the blood was everywhere and I meant to tell her all of what went on but she never darkened the door again not that that mattered_ \- _just enough to make his mouth water looking for ways to ask him to tuck down his collar or slip his tongue inside my glove just for a minute wasn’t my fault he must have been looking like he does_ - _the old song still echoes_ -  _not after that fight if I’d gone and_ \- Yes- _just imagine getting him into bed even if he is in love with some other man who gives a damn there’s worse ways to do a thing_ \- _oh yes_ \- yes- _some men can be so dreadfully aggravating when they act as if they own you when shouldn’t it be sharing and why should they care if its coupling or mating when none of them were having children any time soon just fucking yes fuck love fucking loving_ \- Oh- _yes- thinking about those slippers with the rabbit fur so soft around the ankles too warm, hot, sweat_ \- yes yes- _driving me mad and that’s the worst word in the world for this because it’s so far from madness and yet I wonder why they call it that: mad for him mad about him mad with him maybe it is-_ echoes _\- if only he would always take off his hat or at least sometimes but if this is true to his nature then who the hell can it harm and why shouldn’t we be- madly in love mad and in love mad purely- mages and Templars - if he feels the way I do then how can he walk in those bloody tight breeches when I’m stumbling on my hemline as if he wasn’t_ \- _everknit_ \- a hill at the bottom of the sky - _now because I wanted to cross to him in the other room but first that meant seeing her face and that was never going to be easy- again so cold and windy and there was still brandy in the storeroom, he knew, even though they didn’t want to tell_ _him_ \- the flying shuttles come and go- _the man with curly hair and that wicked smile_ \- yes, he would have said yes, and did later so many times yes- _lambswool fresh from the comb- we did it, too, so now in that place there’s nothing terrible except the knowledge that it’s not happening right now_ \- now, yes- _all that azure plaideweave_ \- nothing can happen he insists begging me to give him just a tiny bit as if that was ever going to be enough- _kissed me beside my eye leaving a mark like a teardrop- I go for the shoulder, a shot he trained to take on the armor. But, since he's a barman now and not a merc, he bleeds, flinches, and I trap the arm and break his neck - I could feel him inquiring as to the shape of my bottom as he walked behind me, Maker, I’d show you if you asked- slip my hand into his pocket and kiss and kiss and yes_ \- yes- _as if I could ever forget doing so much worse-_ like marmalade all over me- _touching trousers brushing breeches enough friction could grind a bloody path from one flesh to the other- oh_ yes _yes- having to keep manners in company with all those words and looks and- coal on my eyes- he’d kneel down in the wet if he could to take you alone so savage and fuck_ -”

“Fuck, yes, gods, yes,” Aran mumbled, muffled, “suck him harder, you beautiful bloody disaster-”

“- _fuck anyone passing by if they wanted to stop and stare then let them because they weren’t dying, were they, and how many more sweet releases can I give before I’m gone- should have said no for some reason_ \- he was always breaking- _cream- yes fuck-_ muslim- _doe-shaped eyes had to be some elf in that lineage somewhere- darkened samite where does it even come from- the whole blessed time outside_ \- a tiny bit cut off- _of course he’s mad like anything- so many shades of blue_ \- _if I could keep- saw him from behind and he saw me standing at the corner and I thought yes but he didn’t know me didn’t stop him from kissing me ‘til I was paralyzed and pressed a couple royals into my palm should have been offended- no- oh yes- every morning and sometimes twice a day-_ I couldn’t find the words anywhere- _dripping in the rain too cold like a tidal wave- royal sea silks- thought I liked the way he made love but this is- then I had to listen to him writing all night never expected him to kiss my heart- shorter brim maybe that would help_ \- all blazened together patchwork awkward- _yes_ \- yes- _who needs blessings or luck when- oh fuck yes fuck me yes-_ yes yes yes-”

Dorian gagged, coughed, heaved a great heady sigh, his tongue push press lapping, then-

“-yes thank you yes shaking watching he thought he wanted to watch not enough never lips right against the sun caramel tongued- _natural if it’s anything_ \- yes- _filthy sloppy wrong damn them fuck it worth it can’t fool a lover- never would believe it was possible this day week month year decade when we met- where it was too public what did she suppose we were doing beside each other even before we were doing anything she couldn’t tell us to stop then and if we hadn’t had the nerve- say you’ll go blind if you- impossible to be more respectful_ \- yes look at me yes windows into yes- _with your fingers_ \- yes- _until_ _the bells ring out because something always happens and no one believes me every time_ \- yes yes- _with the way the time is going- could always get past the guard he was such a drinker_ \- copper bronze and brass- _I was brave and he thought I was lovely and isn’t that new if I could just keep him closer closer- more yes more- whole place is full of it - just the right height under over around on top from the bottom- ivory is firmer but he’s so pale with excitement should have been flushed yes does it matter yes_ \- possible to feel inside out outside in all at once is that- _yes- told you_ \- yes- _didn’t I- yes- couldn’t stand properly I was so hot and even after they made a show of how holy I was I wanted to shout about that hole drowning it in tight and teased and- Lying awake, sheets soaked in sweat, afraid to call the Tamassrans shadows make shapes in the dark - fade-touched cloth shouldn’t be so itchy_ \- they said being none of them- _to know what a traitor looks like I do I do- yes_ \- yes- _yes- never felt anything like this-_ the coral was redder than anything- _should have found out something about him gets these ideas into his head- somewhere with soft cushions and thick walls and- yes- more going around and around and down into me like that his hipbones pressed against me- Voices, gods, I’ll never stop loving you, it doesn’t matter even if I can’t- if he’d told me I’d feel my own tongue wrapped around him mirroring-_ yes- _I might have_ \- yes- _not_ _given a damn to begin with_ \- _yes_ \- after he came press turning and turning- _the credit your tongue does you- never be able to look at him the same again- wish I had some way of tasting why didn’t he-_ yes- _never wanted to wear anything under- yes- if he knew how often I thought of that thing as a skirt_ -”

“Damn it, Cole-”

“-what?”

Dorian groaned as Aran shoved his head further forward, filling his mouth-

“Oh oh oh oh- _cursing him for a year and couldn’t get my hands off of him after that don’t want to leave anything lost over those melting_ \- skyblue seashine Fadeshot- _pastels and powders- can’t see taste smell want-_ want- _want_ \- yes- _cracking into him, knuckles prying, looking at me with those eyes that want nothing but the worst wish I could come can’t come yes come playing praying- could have been easy- tasting loss tearing moss away with my fingertips- or maybe a featherbed wouldn’t that put the fear of the Maker into him_ \- into him- _is there a way to overdo this just pretend he’s sick and needs a rest and fuck the Wardens and the sisters with their corsets and the whole thing and just fuck yes fuck me come into me and fuck- what did they say that I have a purpose when this could be it maybe they’ve got it all wrong and it’s all just this delightful spine bending under my hands sweat filled so fucking hard tight deep- deep possible to scream with his cock in my ass my mouth like a violet pair of violets_ \- bruises and sunlight and handmarked any good good yes oh- _who knows whether he did it on purpose and if I remember I’ll ask him- I've been here before then I left - all I said was that I wasn’t sure if we could finish yesterday but that’s no good he did-_ _after all yellow moonlight like whitecaps on the Calenhad and full of it full of it- full of it when I was never enough they know I won’t be able to- fuck not good great- if all I can get in this world in this moment in this body if this under my skin and over it- have to check if that spell is still holding because wouldn’t that just peel their fingers hearing his tender voice screaming profanities-_ fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck yes fuck- _like that_ \- fuck fuck yes oh yes please - _I hate pretending but anything anything for more of this I’ll lie until my teeth fall out salt on the back of my throat so much might be dripping out of me fuck it he’ll suck me clean the way he loves yes loves me yes always yes like drinking champagne I came come_ \- yes!”

Red cotton ceiling angles light and shaking, heat and shudder, lakes and marshes- cloud touch roll- “-yes supposed to- _yes- fuck them both- all everything at once that big before_ \- what a lovely magnificent head of hair- _twelve to one odds they can put him up on a throne but some day I’m going to push him over it just need to lock the bloody doors_ \- off- _come yes fuck yes yes- possible to laugh tasting him through him makes me thirsty how to explain when I stumble out smelling like two sweaty cocks and asking for wine- when he admitted he was fucking-_ yes yes don’t stop I know but don’t stop I can still feel it want to feel it skin is so strange and I want- _in those baths all smelling of rosewater and he wanted me all disgusting and covered in sand could have fucked me then and -_ there there _\- there yes always find that yes- no wonder he’s - Itching, shaking, tears slide cold down my cheeks_ \- keep please- _which-_ full all tight hanging down and slapping strumming sounds like shorelines- _in a fucking blighted palace- ancient wood creaking needed_ \- that there- _fuck them behind a tree and say we were sticky from the sap but we would know- grass stains on his knees_ \- hidden with his hand but he can’t touch him any other way unless he were rainclear he could be no not me, ah! Eyeteeth and tongue and not so fearful of hurting now, are they- _everything in my mouth all the pleasure they get out of me and I want everything_  - everything _\- let myself go- just come and come sweeter harder thicker like sugar paste on his- suck him so hard like he wants to milk him beyond everything come like this if I could dream it_ \- if he leaves the marks of his teeth on that shoulder maybe they’ll let him-”

Dorian groaned around him.

“ _Fuck- fuck fuck fuck-_ can’t hurt me oh oh all the things- _fuck shit- stoning harder than marble and just as etched- just five minutes between my legs and I’ll have to hug him after if I can move just to say it’s not just fuck_ \- _fuck yes I can_ \- sweetness sweetest sweet sweet- _again - have to stretch apart to be put back together inside of me- drown myself in the first sticky river and used to love and I don’t feel a day older when I’ve got him pinned- wanted a good sleep but damn if this isn’t better_ \- don’t sleep but dream awake I can and do- _come at me when you go and burn the lines- want to feel your way through me back to him and you and him and you- can you can come so hard not to be so nice about it you have but Maker how long can you keep this up I might break I might come again can I come again I don’t know if I-_ that look like you’re trying to be careful but I only bleed because I think I have to between your lips matted hair they’re not all like you not at all beneath slick parts a bit loose weave of a morning in the evening with the thunder outside inside tongue between us somewhere smiling yes- _yes the gentle seadance of driftwood- does anyone else smell that? no one? just me? - can’t leave things like this careless have to ask him want-_ _yes- fuck - deep -_ throat hand eye back- _doesn’t need to talk but I’m sure glad he is in the rain lovely just after I thought he was lost down the mountain came snowglare melting ice black as night and fuck- fuck yes- seems too big compared to what is possible and- what’s that-_ not finite can’t begin to how the glad instead- _tomorrow I’ll be wincing and he’ll give me that look that says ‘I know exactly what you’ve been up to’ but this time I know he can’t have because no one could unless they’d - fuck yes oh yes sweet yes- in the heat here- birches singing on the cliffs- hot sun baking born with that skin or given by time and light and hot-_ yes- _try to shame me for this I will fucking bury them never heard of anything like this in all my life and Maker someone had to have tried in all of the blighted Imperium didn’t they like all the skin is mist and every touch and tongue and cock is everywhere like echoes shouting back a hundred times and you can’t do a fucking thing about it but fuck yes- so awfully fond of you and your cock and your balls and all that peachfuzz salt brandy hot never thought to wonder yes_ \- thought I could have stopped it but never- _yes- fuck- nothing better just- melting in the heat get this blanket off-_ I didn’t mean- _in time then- down and meeting his eyes across that skin like splendid suns something feels like it’s going through me- on the shore it made me seasick- he kissed me against the rocks and I could hear the gulls and I’d been planning to run away, gods, that would have been madness- my lips around this tender flesh how long not enough taste this good nothing drunk and pierced on this stiffening bottle and_ \- that’s why they call it a split roast?” Salt sweat seeing smirking- “-like a food? No wonder why men cross these lines your jaw aches never never stop - _sending them out of the room just to press him to the chaise lounge and make him die again again- again -_ more _\- harder- it fills up your whole body- I told him I did but I do that’s the truth and nothing is ever the same as this him home- I know I know - I like yours even when you’re similar not the same never ever_ \- ever yes- _need to ask him about himself- I wanted to touch his with mine but there’s time for that and his chest is pink I think I could touch_ \- oh oh oh- _hanging upside down_ \- crushing all the flowers on that hill with the raindrops still on them ships far out to sea- _yes tomorrow_ _elfroot_ _but fuck me fuck me shaking love the taste of him wish I could see close my eyes mirrors forward kiss open suck fuck loves?_ ”

“Oh merciful Maker I’m going to-”

“-twist startled threads to make them shine- _again- figure anyhow we’ll have to-_ _hats_ \- feel something so much- _deep slobbering on him like a mongrel and fuck it even if he doesn’t have to sleep shouldn’t be by himself just cold feet on my legs maybe- hillsides covered in sunflowers with a yellow cottage- too long ah Maker that’s it wet again deeper hotter ah yes yes yes - warn me if he tries to start something while I’m sleeping again four or five times swollen with honey smiling_ \- teeth moonlight dawn every - _don’t know how to sing on tune but die trying notes on every wall- my name on his ass_ \- deep down chin choose- _voices voices- whoever he wants- in a bath- I feel I want I have to_ \- hold- _twitching when I think of him and now it’ll be both of them - as if I needed more reasons to be changing the laces on my braies too stiff with seed and washing every bit doesn’t help_ \- the storm quietly as a bard on a mountaintop- _can’t stand that tea- leading him astray- never said I liked dancing- said he wouldn’t pull me in- wish he’d_ \- hummingbirds all feathers and light- _yes- a great rogue better even if I’m not hers, but maybe still the Herald of Her the tears are the same Cole_ \- can’t can’t must can’t all the can’t don’t stop don’t I’ll try- _heat myself up but the fire would catch and I can’t keep them all running at once wait what who which_ \- amrita vein and felandaris brandy white shear leather royal silk velvet flesh in silken robes ginger oil spotted glisten - _oh mercy mercy mercy mercy breathe can’t hard so much must would sitting up on him but I’d lose this Fadesweet cock in my mouth can’t have - spend the whole time watching pumping prodding pulsing- the way he plots and plans every last fucking thing coming in_ \- in in in in- _gets on your nerves but then he pulls- come-_ come yes yes- _fuck- coming - hands no credit for those fingers finding fucking- couldn’t turn around if I tried- wish he’d hold my yes tighter yes -_ learn to like me- _learn? -then doing me all day- not fair how he hears every- yes yes just like that oh thank the Maker- two royals wouldn’t be enough for-_ yes he noticed yes- _trying to understand while he’s pretending but if there’s anything wrong it’s me and they’d never tell me used to be too honest no not-_ yes- _oh yes- like some kind of god- lovely young cock went down- off the sea hot for it and not care a good goddamn any kind of expression- didn’t he_ \- kiss- _if the fellow you want isn’t there sometimes you have to- mine for a few times for the name what was it but he knows and-_ yes he did he did- _coming- stumbling out of that room like a filthy prostitute but he knew I gave it to him felt those eyes peeling back over me trying to steal what’s ours- the night he won at Wicked Grace and said he needed to practice that was cold-_ maybe a silk hat- _turned over some fellow with fine eyes- if they could only- maybe not Inquisitor but Suggestor no she was right Whisperer has a better ring- sigh for this dark man with his- of course it was me riding him up against a wall the first few times in the dark what he does to me I don’t know- just to see someone else coming around the corner- I’m not going to think about the city meeting pickpockets and thieves and nightwalkers so many dagger smiles- have to pretend things but this- never anything like it see how well I’ve- wouldn’t like that- I never had_ \- that’s why the world- _wouldn’t see women even if no maybe if he asked- of course if it was for me he’ll go home to his wife- can stay the night_ \- so silent is the storm- _either he wants you or he doesn’t- ready to stick his dick in you- I’m not so ignorant- laid it on too thick with the flirting- ruin my skin if he holds me any- tighter right on that head and sucking it like he’s starving_ \- have to go under on yes- _want to get up on them both as if that’s not- yes- nuisance of a thing this only once- will have to push that skirt up- robe, you ass- drunken little barrel bottle of wine tipping over a bar akimbo to fill squeeze fuck squash- wasn’t me- yes it was- not the same- I’m sorry-_ yes- _what a fucking spectacle imagine him and Ser Cullen- what- so sweetly_ \- cloth hanging from a low bough- _when I sang to Halladin and he will never_ \- need knead need me- _I’d like to- meet about yourself- blue blue sea and the moon in the storm- I thought he was not this too young not a stranger something about poetry hair too long in his eyes a man like that- Maker- standing ramrod straight into the sun I could look at him all day- yes wait no yes Maker yes_ \- yes something’s yes- _now- stoning he called it and yes that’s yes harder than anything how- coming to be the- yes- all those gilt mirrors cocked sideways and oh damn yes fuck-_ ”

“Yes! Fuck! Ah! Yes!”

“- _something to it yes wait for it yes - could probably take this outside and fuck in front of them for hours and let them forget forget forget the image would never leave my head though_ \- I can help- _yes- have him to myself- this thing of beauty- are you sure I asked and-_ yes- _and- oh it’s good yes plundering yes that spot- damn you can’t pins and needles arc lightning not again_ \- ah- _shit no fuck yes don’t know how to not come- come- come_ \- press- _not- creak_ \- ohohohohyessssss - _who except an idiot- it had three cocks but it never felt like this is this is it_ \- yes- _would sleep at the foot of his bed if he let me- pull him together through inside like the beginning of creation_ \- cold fracture settling softly over warm - _never great at explaining things he said it was amusing- I’ll have to pay for it reminds me- fingers on fingers on fingers on fuck fuck fuck oh no wait- suck it so clean- his shoulders to finger you- wanting to kiss him all distinguished_ \- muddled glancing eyes lattice work bees and spiderwebs- _if he was alive I’d ruin him - I could have brought him again and again maybe a second round after the storm rolls past and something nice and tasty-_ combing out his hair all sorts of shapes and smells and violet sunflowers and yellow violets- _the Chantry bells ringing all- going about bringing home if I can- nobody_ \- coming in no yes no- _when is he going_ \- I love flowers- _yes_  - _fuck_ \- waves rushing at mountains in the sea under over in- _yes yes- howling for them_ \- let me in let me- _is that_ -”

“Fuck,” Dorian gasped. “Oh-”

“-oh fuck-” Aran shuddered. Tracing the light Veil thin, inhale not air but energy, sharp, shedding skin, marrow sliding, seeking refuge within the fluttering flux of flesh, aching aiding, “Yes yes yes ah-”

“-fuck- is that both-”

“- yes-”

“Is it?!” His dark hair, neck twists, stares angled, and writhes. “Mad, you’re mad, it’s one thing to- oh oh Maker- so full-”

“- _so good so good shouldn’t be_ -”

“Shut up, shut up-”

“- _deep deeper thicker more - beautiful country full of grain - bring him home- the first person in the universe- called me easy but this isn’t easy it’s hard good hard yes one and another and another full of cock how spirits- why why- yes_ \- I asked him- _make it all- oh yes- fuck- fuck me fuck me hole whole they might as well try to stop the sun from rising moonlight summerskies shines_ \- asked him- _yes fuck-_ I can I will we will yes- _oh yes- save you-_ yes- _all serene and limp but first- yes- they can’t spear this sentry- this- yes_ \- pulses thrumming like drums too hard- _yes- not enough- yes just-_ yes must- _yes wait- no yes_ yes _yes_ yes-”


End file.
